By far the most common question we receive at Libida is how couples can put more focus on the clitoris during intercourse. Here are some tips on how to locate it and, once you’ve located it, how to make it feel amazing.
Stimulating the Clitoris with Intercourse
The Clitoral Anatomy
- The clitoris sits outside and above the vagina where the lips come together. It is protected by a hood and is between ½” to 2” long — with an average of 3/4” in length and 1/4” in diameter.
- Luckily, this is just the part we can see! The complete clitoris is actually approximately the size of a flaccid penis — 4” in total. The part which you don’t see extends down into two long legs (crura) that reach well into the inside of the body on either sides of the vulva.
Because the clitoris is positioned inches outside of the vagina, it is almost impossible for the penis to stimulate it directly during intercourse.
- The clitoris does, in fact, get some clitoral stimulation from the act of intercourse. As the penis pulls out, it pulls the inner lips to the clitoris and rubs against it (pleasurable in itself). For some women, this can be enough to bring them to orgasm, but for over 60% of women it is not.
Best Positions for Clitoral Stimulation
Since every woman’s anatomy and geography is slightly different, there is no panacea-position for hitting the spot. But, here are the common ones:
- Look Ma, No Hands: The best positions for stimulating the clitoris without using outside stimulation Scissors - Lie on your sides, face each other, put their leg (and thigh) in between yours - their upper thigh can put great pressure on the clitoris.
- Legs Closed - Close your legs as your partner enters you. Commonly from behind or when you are on top of your partner. Closed legs increase the friction of the penis against the vulva and clitoris.
- Missionary position - Your partner lies on top of you - face to face. His pelvic bone massages the clit when your partner has fully penetrated you.
Woman on TopRiding- You can grind away on top of your partner to your own rhythm and ideal pressure.
It’s a Handful
The best positions that allow hands free to roam to the right spot.
- Doggy Style -
Histheir hand can reach around easily to the clit, Your hands can also reach easily down between your legs.
- Side by side - Lie facing the same direction as your partner spoons you, their hand can easily reach around.
- Half Facing - You lie on your back while they lie on their side. Put one leg (or both) over their body. You have easy access to your clit and they can caress your breasts and more.
Get creative with your clitoris
Vulva Massage - Slip the penis out and, supporting it with the hand, slide the glans of the penis over the vulva and clitoris giving the clitoris a glorious penile massage.
What to do when you get tired? Lie on your stomach with a stiff pillow positioned directly underneath your pelvis, and rub your clit over the pillow while they penetrates you from behind.
How to ask for more Clitoral Action
- Plain and simple — just ask.
- Take their hand and guide it to your clit. This is the least confrontational, and is very successful if they are paying attention.
- Talk to your partner when you are not sexual with each other. Tell them you need that extra stimulation. Give them some suggestions on which way you like it. Talk creatively about how to get the stimulation you want. It can really turn them on to hear you tell them what you want. (Note: It might also make them uncomfortable or feel inadequate so be sensitive to any response your receive)
- Rub it yourself and hope they gets the hint.
- Watch a porn movie together that features clit stimulation and tell them how much it would turn you on to have them do that to you.
- Scream : “Touch my clit right now!”
Vibrators can Help
- Strap a vibrator on you. This is the best solution for many women. They get the vibration without work for their partner.
Try: Micro Butterfly Strap-On Vibrator
- Slip a vibrator on them. This vibrator helps you to enjoy something together. Many partners are thankful to you for that help and the vibration they gets too. The draw back is that when they withdraw, so does the vibration.
Try: Lelo Bo Vibrating Cock Ring
Tips for Partners
Remember that when
she isthey are excited, the clitoris will retreat behind the hood, which can make it a little hard to find. (Actually for many people this can be untrue, some people’s clitorises become more erect and easier to find) The clitoris can become overly sensitive and will then welcome “indirect” stimulation. In that case, massage in circles around the area, look for hertheir reactions, and ask herthem what she’dthey’d like you to do. Note that if you want to know what it feels like for a womansomeone to have her vagina stimulated without stimulating the clitoris, try having an orgasm without touching your penis. (Actually that’s a weird thing to say because some people can’t orgasm through clitoral stimulation or outright can’t stand clitoral stimulation and need g-spot stimulation. Also, some people with penises can orgasm through prostate stimulation with little to no touching of the penis)
And Keep in Mind
Analogous sex organs between the sexes:
Vagina = Scrotum.
Clitoris = Head of penis
Please note: Not every woman has a vagina, not every man has a penis
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